Christmas is coming – and now I’m a totally grown up five years old, I know what this means. They put up a pretend forest in the living room, which is all right until they start yelling at me if I go near it. I mean, what’s the point of having a handy tree if you can’t rustle about under it and there are no squirrels sitting in the top branches? Mind you, last year, Mistress’s cat did climb up there to sit with the fairy. I tried to climb up too, to rescue her but she spat swear words at me and Mistress almost fainted when she saw the tree on the floor. The cat was okay though.
The good thing is that they do put things called presents under this tree and there’s always one of those for me. They actually have chocolates (yep!) wrapped in coloured stuff and tied to the branches. I was sniffing one once but I was told off in Mistress’s firm voice, she said that chocolate is bad for dogs. Imagine that! She told me about next door’s Labrador, Matty (I call him Fatty) that pulled all the chocs off the tree and ate them one at a time – and wasn’t sick. I happen to know that Matty also ate his Master’s sweaty sock and had to have an operation to get it removed by the vet!
Anyway Mistress has all the decorations out and is hiding things she buys from the shops. How was I to know that that she’d hidden that parcel under the settee as a surprise for master? He seemed pretty pleased when I put it on his knee – even if it was a bit soggy from my mouth. What’s more, they’ve hung coloured lights on all the trees in the garden, but I did get a shock when I went out for a late sniff last night and suddenly, right in front of me was a shining, glowing, twinkling reindeer! I barked my head off at it until I heard the family laughing behind me. “It’s just a decoration!” they chuckled. Humans will laugh at anything.
Mistress got to thinking about tricks.
Here’s a few ideas:
Completely crackers: What would you put inside the Christmas crackers for different people you know – family or friends? What might their reactions be? Think of some very unusual surprises like an instantly inflatable space suit, a flood of custard, a thinking hat, never ending spaghetti.
Decoration invitation: Your class is invited to help decorate the Christmas tree and the garden of an old lady, a famous author, who lives down the road from school. Your teacher ushers you all in through the gate and locks it behind you. All is dark. All is silent. What happens to you all?
The donkey: You’ve been given a part in the school Christmas pantomime or play and rehearsals have begun. The only thing is, you and your friend have to play the part of a donkey. What’s the pantomime about and how do you and your friend get to look really cool?